The best 6 US airlines, ranked by their hold music

When holiday travel plans inevitably change, prepare yourself for some long waits, and some surprisingly pleasant ones, too.

It’s the holiday season, which, according to AAA, means 115 million Americans will be on the road and in the air. 

And you know what that means: traffic, TSA security lines like boa constrictors around airport terminals, a near inevitable airline software crash, and probably a nor’easter to boot. And you know what that means: delays and cancellations. And you know what that means: lots of people calling their respective airlines. And you know what that means: hold music. 

If the painful and robotic repetition of the preceding paragraph isn’t enough to prepare you for hours of looping audio, here's a list of the best and worst airline tunes to get you ready for that moment where the robot on the other line says, "your expected wait time is..." and your whole life hangs in the balance. From repetitive jazz that perfectly compliments some time-killing card games to the latest pop music mangled by your phone’s somehow-just-for-this-call antiquated speakers, this list may just help you rethink who you fly with moving forward. 

---

#6 JetBlue 

JetBlue takes the aggressive route with its hold music, but it's one that displays little faith in the generations long tradition (from elevators to airlines) of monotone and repetitive background tunes, earning them the bottom spot on this list. The airline wrongly assumes that you want to be listening to anything other than a helpful customer service agent, and so instead of something resembling silence, JetBlue’s servers pipe out Coldplay and other hits while you wait to find out what the heck happened to your 7-iron, and why it's in Sarasota while the rest of your clubs are in Denver. If you loved Coldplay, you'd listen on your own time, and not through this incredibly muffled replay. 

#5. Delta Airlines

Whoever wrote Delta's hold music wanted you to picture yourself staring at a sunset over a cloud inversion, the high mountain air pleasantly stinging your nostrils as you watched bountiful stock dividends hit your bank account. But what they ended up releasing is something that sounds like an asthmatic blue whale recorded through a gramophone. Delta also gets minus points for the two-second gap between loops of their various tracks. It's just long enough that you can trick yourself into believing someone's on the other end of your call, until they aren’t. The whale was just up for air, and it all starts over, somehow louder and more disonant, this time. 

#4 Southwest Airlines

Where JetBlue eschews tradition, Southwest embraces it. This is lounge and hold music in its most classic form. Plenty of sax, with just a hint of the questiness of the Princess Bride soundtrack makes a two hour call with Southwest feel like an adventure, albiet one through purgatory. 

#3. American Airlines

American leans into the piano with its hold music. Some subtle strings in the background whisper of Hallmark movie commercials, and a consistent clapping sound makes you picture, oddly, a tech launch presentation, replete with overlage collared shirts, jeans, and promises of a better world. Maybe you can make it to Cabo after all?

#2 Alaska Airlines 

Alaska’s hold music can only be described as smart. The Seattle-based carrier attempts less grandeur than Delta, and mostly pulls it off as a result. This music isn't trying to be anything other than what it is, and each cycle is just similar and long enough that you don't really notice the passage of time, until you realize it's been 90 minutes and you should be more upset than you actually are. 

#1. United Airlines

United takes a similar approach to Alaska with even better results. Their audio team recognized that the further your brain can tune out, the less angry you'll be, and the more joyful that first ring of the real phone line will feel when the hold music cuts out. It's not close enough to CBS's Master's theme to warrant a lawsuit, but it will make you want to take a nap in the corner of your couch just as badly. One can debate if that’s actually a good thing for sorting out travel plans, but the lullaby-level tunes from United nonetheless warrant the top spot on this list.